The Diwali Updates

Dinner went fine, thank you. The food was more than edible and more than enough. The wine flowed freely and since I never eat when I cook, I was most happy and congenial (not too happy, I hasten to assure you). I lit 18 sparklers in one go. Even sparklers couldn't damp the evening. But then I think of the stress I went through. The kofta gravy V1.0 I could have cried over, the nasty yellow looking gloopy liquid. The halwa didn't solidify till half an hour before serving time. The rangoli looked like a holi ground. But serious thanks to S. and M. We got it all wrapped up and I had time to shower before the guests arrived. We lit 89 candles in the living room. Today morning it looked like the house of wax. I shuddered and moved on to work.

Venkat called, he's moving to Germany. I am very very happy for him. I've been bothered about his job, the lack of it and general aimlessness that I thought was the case. I'm glad, very glad to be wrong and I told him that though I'd miss him, I was so incredibly happy at the news and I am.

More serious topics now. I was speaking to someone at work, she's quite successful, around 12 years older than me and she has a daughter of 10 years old. I asked her how did she manage to juggle a career, a life and be a mother. She took her 2 months maternity leave, had a maid to take care of the baby and at 18 months got her in a day care center. Now she makes time to have dinner with her daughter twice a week plus weekends. And that's how it got to be, I guess.
Here I could rant and rave about how its not fair for the child, but I won't. It wont be too fair for the child to have a depressed, unfulfilled mother. And company of other children might even be good. Especially if the mother only wants one kid, leaving the kid lonely. The only unambiguous feeling I have after this conversation is that motherhood is a serious challenge. And that I had figured out.