Decisions, decisions. So much easier to be weak. Yet I got to look out for long run Ipshita.

Milton Friedman comes to mind (wry)

One of my classmates passed away. His resume is up there. His facebook page is there. The internet is littered with his ghosts. I am hugely uncomfortable. I am a strange and incomplete person.

Irritation. I was academically interested to see if anyone had done a study on the earning potential of women and what effect marriage has on the same. I can't believe it. For the one relevant study I found, I found so many articles on whether Career Women are worth marrying.

When will we stop being second class citizens? When will the perspective on life be shared equally between us?

I don't want comfort. I don't want simplicity. I want danger, difficulty and novelty. I'm going to so die young, no?

Too much of support the classics- Stay rooted to the old the same ? I'm always unsure of what to think.

One way I sometimes let my fancy swing: Let it be a bold new world where you try the new to give a chance for the young. You'll be missing out on the classics of tomorrow. Everywhere people are trying exciting new things with art, music, books and thought. It would be narrow minded to only look at what came before with a false sense of snobbery.

Takeaway from thought-fancy swing: Study and appreciate the classics by all means but explore, explore, explore and be daunted not by the chaff.

If only I could listen as well as I preach to myself. Blllb

The problem with facebook is that it makes you so nosey. I'll see a snippet of a conversation and try to figure out what was meant. Had to close my tab and tell self that if it's worth knowing I'll find out soon enough.

Avocado

I want, I crave. I've had avocado in some form or another for every meal in this last week. And at least 3-4 times a week for the past 30 days. Can it be healthy to want something so much? And much more importantly, are they very expensive in Singapore?

I shall have to find out.

If a movie makes you think and think and think and double over with the ambiguity of meaning, is it a good movie?Would I improve it by searching online, trolling for others' interpretations and explanations of the ending? Or is my own confused thought a way out, only I'm not there yet?

Thinking, thinking, thinking...

Boo. I miss the boy

I was sitting at a cafe with a friend when a dog walked by. A big cream labby with a brown nose.

My eyes started pricking and I said I had to go to the washroom. I had a quick sob to myself, dried up and came out, bright and sparkling.

That's life for you. Cry and move on.

What's the trade off?

a) You can be a nice person and help people out in their times of need.

b) Or you can be a bad person and refuse to burden yourself with someone else's negative vibes.

It seems like an easy answer (a) and I always thought so and do continue to think so, but can see why people opt for option b at times. People down on their luck leave you feeling exhausted when they rip you apart for being in a better place. They talk of nothing else and don't accept anything but passive listening. And I do listen, I do care, I do want to help. But I hate it that they drain me of my own energy and enthusiasm. Why should it be a zero sum game? Why must there be a feeding off of one another?

And it makes me think. Am I like this when I'm down? Do I curl up and whine always? I wonder. I'm thinking of the MBA app time when I was so entirely depressed. I'm thinking of the job application time when I was so stressed out that I couldn't eat. I think perhaps I am one of these people too. What is the reconciling factor between these two extremes? Me being one of them and me not being able to support them? I think it must be love and some kind of personal strength. You have to love someone to be able feed them your own energy and not care. You need empathy and tough skin to resist the pressure to be dragged down yourself.

The answer is still (a). I just have to be a better person from the inside to not mind.