How lovely to be welcomed home by two rabbits

They deserve every day of their holiday

I was in a mood and I was looking and thinking of the best way to define it to myself.

Then my mind leapt up and stole a song. It was plagiarism of the soul. I took something that belonged to someone else, created and conceived for a different reasons and decided it was just right for me.

I've been humming the song all day and it's been a comfort to have this theme song for my mood.

Thank you,

The Song Thief

I am very bad at spotting cats
Evolutionary fail!

Landing in Singapore in night is a pleasure if one has the window seat. On a clear night the stars are up in the heaven. Hundreds of ships glitter in the sea like an invasion force. And somewhere in between the two you can see firefly-like planes. Six or seven at a time, either going from or coming to Changi. They hang motionless or whiz past

I was walking home, tired and a little dizzy for I wasn't quite well. I was all alone atop a hill waiting for a taxi. I looked up and then stopped in surprise. The Moon had turned almost entirely red while a sliver of light was left like a finger nail. It had been a full moon night but the moon had turned red

I saw my first lunar eclipse

Why I work

"The Roman historian Sallust said of Cato "He preferred to be good, rather than to seem so". The lawyer who quits a high-powered law firm to work at a nonprofit organization certainly seems like a good person. But if we define "good" as helping people, then the lawyer who stays at his law firm but donates the profit to charity is taking Cato's path of maximizing how much good he does, rather than how good he looks." - Less Wrong


Hear hear!

We have this darling assistant who is so cheerful and bubbly. She is very Malay, mom of 3 kids, fasts religiously and is so full of energy
She asked me today if I have watched the twilight movies. She told me she was team jacob

I am on IMDB!

Well... that's fun :p

Thank you Mr. Mathur

Why do I talk so much? Why am I so opinionated about things which I know nothing about? I feel like I spout so much blah but really I have no practical knowledge about any of this.
I was lecturing two parents today about how I never want to have kids and why
I need to be more cautious. There is nothing wrong in having opinions but being so blabby about it is no good
I am a little depressed at work. I throw myself at everything but I am like ineffectual jelly. I have the best intentions but I don't think I'm really all that strong or forceful. I may not be entirely stupid but thats not enough. But this too shall pass, this too shall pass...

It was an excellent play.

I also had a good evening. I think being around so many musical people has definitely helped my ear. I am getting pretty acute and getting better with my absolute pitch.

My previous post is the perfect segue into what I want to say now

Richard III!!!!

I am quite quite excited.

A royce, a royce, my kingdom for a royce

Chocolate (c)ravings that just won't go away.

Went to a fish spa. Was greeted by a tank of glass behind the receptionist. A school of fish (each the size of my feet) stared back at me. ulp

So when it was time to put the feet in, I thought, okay, you can do this. Be calm, be suave, people are watching.

Hmm, the water is warm... but.. like... whaaaaaT

EEEEEEPS

Man those greedy little dead skin gobbling piranha pool inhabitants. They nibbled away with their evil little ineffective jaws at my all too sensitive feet. I had the toughest time keeping a straight face and not squealing all the way through.

So much for suave

And perverse as I am, I feel like going back for seconds

The western black rhino is extinct. I am in a deep blue funk. I can't help feeling that we are all terrible criminals. Generations of the future will look back and never forgive us

Good to know a black dress and red heels can still make me happy

I had a good weekend. Now its back to the rest of the world
There is so much to say and so little worth saying. Today our driver swerved a little off the road and on the curb. Someone complained and the driver got fired. I feel a little disturbed by it.
Work is still challenging. I am a little annoyed by that actually. Almost everytime so far if I really put my mind to anything it would somehow get easier and better. But here I always feel like the carrot is running at the same speed I am. Very Red Queen

The peter principle? So soon?

You could say "it's not so much what you look like, it's what's inside that he can't stand."

When I go about picking wisdom from dreamworks, then I know I need more sleep

Today I sat across from a man who rubbed his hands as he spoke in low tones about matters of some importance.
I was impressed. People do it in real life beyond evil sorcerors and wicked machiavellian schemers

Snape is dead. Somehow I shielded myself from it when it was only in writing but Alan Rickman is so good that I now know that Snape is dead.

(mourning)

Libyan spokesman, "we will die for oil"

Reminds me of the theatre workshops. How many ways can you say that sentence and bring different meanings to it. I'm undecided between bravado and desperation as the likely emotions behind this one. Don't, I want to say. But then I'm in a comfortable hotel reading the news. It hurts my cred some

I realised something today. once you have a belief and it's a true and real one, there is nothing you can do to blind yourself from it. Today the thought of flying over all those deforested parts of Malaysia had me in tears.
I can tell myself that I am not a bad person and that I am not causing anyone harm but the truth remains that I am not acting on what I truly believe in. This next year, I am going to do everything i can to live a greener life. I am going to make sure my holidays are eco-friendly. i'm going to try reduce our power bills. I am going to try and volunteer for reforestation activities. And what I can afford, I'm going to donate to the kinabatangan reforestation efforts.
I can't turn a blind eye any more

Finally tracked down what happened to Hannibal's war elephants. There were 37 and the last died near Arno. Poor things.

In other news, work tomorrow...

I've been very busy, my dearest bloggy.

I was suddenly missing Brutus my beautiful doggy. And now the nameless dread is on me again...

Next project. Spirits are a little low here. Mine in particular. Must pull self together. Must keep my long term goals in mind and not let a few hiccups get in the way
I actually came online here to document my longing for a notebook I had in 5th grade. It was Jurassic Park film merchandise but beautiful. There is very little lovelier than a theropod skull

Relishing the memoirs of Saint-Simon. He's a petty but sharp man. His incisive tongue gives so much colour to the time.

Fancy, would our gossip magazines perform the same function for posterity :p

I have a song in my heart but I have a cold in my head. I feel fizzy. Work is a little dull today nbut even that hasn't gotten me down. I have been dreaming about every possibility that could spin out of sentences I type. I think about how wonderful it is to be alive and be able to do all of this. Free, free, free I am free. Who cares if my immune system is grappling with the cold virus. That the room I sit in tiny and the carpet smells like cabbages. There are writers out there who make me cry. Skies so open that we actually can fly through. A universe with billions of planets. Ah Good writing, good music and a good game can really help ones mood, huh?

I am like those three monkeys. The news is so tough to read these last few weeks like a particularly harsh novel. The uncertainty is messing with my head. But I do read every headline. And that leads to more reading.

The world was never okay, was it? I wish I had known this when I was studying history. The 14 reasons for WWI and the 6 consequences of the British winning some war in their conquest of India, that was all bullcrap wasn't it. I mean, the marks cut if you dind't have all 6 points listed come on. It was as mad, as uncertain then as it was now. And to freeze all of that to just outcomes is an unfair rendition. To destroy all the whatifs

In other news, must exercise more. Am losing tone. I shall be nice woffly office worker soon at this rate

Soweta Choir

I lie listening to music in the dark my heart beating heavily to the rhythm

I think about everything superlative and good in the world. Hard work. But so beautiful.

Music is larger, bigger than any person who creates it. I can imagine divinity in it

I don't understand a word but it is happy and sad by meter

I want to be a writer someday but still I can't manage to put together words to describe how I feel. Sigh

The truth is that I am getting to used to keeping radio silence on what I really think and feel and it feels new. I should try more. Even if it is nerdy, absurd, irrelevant it is still me.

Oh my god that lilting theme just grew out of the chorus and all coherent thought flew. Die, die die! in bliss. I offer you all the karma I have to spare, all the goodwill I can pass on, anything in any bank a person can have for creating this.

Me wants to go on a paleontology dig. Bwaaaaaaa!

I can' t let myself sleep. I am so tired but the thought of waiting in bed to fall asleep seems so boring. I need my rest though from this terrible bout of laryngitis. So, here's to a nap

Restless and hungry.
This is my favourite mood. I was not made to be content and happy. I was made to always be curious.
I want the week to start

I was doing my usual wiki trawling a few days or so ago. I was on a page: Judith Binney, a NZ historan. Date of death, that very day, 15th Feb 2011.

All the news people are snitty about Watson winning Jeopardy!
Tsk I say. I think its wonderful news. I am totally for having super efficient AI. And if they take over the world? Well, they'd be too sensible and smart to trash the world (And us :p )

Am I cold? No
Do I have goosebumps. Yes Yes Yessity Yes
I just found 2010 edition of a book I read when I was in primary school in my dinosaur mad days. That which actually got me dinosaur mad in the first place. And all pre Jurassic park, so blllb you sceptics
The Princeton field guide to dinosaurs
This is what comes of having a Kindle. I can buy a book in the 5 minute breaks I have at work. But this is a good, an awesome, a brilliant world changing, paradigm shifting, neuron popping blissful happy day
Glorious!
I promptly went and bought the Princeton guide to maths too.
I enjoyed my maths in school, looking back at it and while I'll never be any good, there's something so clean about Maths. The only thing that gets closer to religion for me is physics

And dinosaurs :)

"The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little bit above the level of a farce and gives it some of the grace of a tragedy."
-Steven Weinberg

Wishing to be an Egyptian in Egypt right now. History textbook material

reading some sci-fi: quarter share. it's about traders aboard a spaceship plying outposts.

Disappointed. Money falls into their laps. I keep thinking if the economic profits are so high what prevents others from cashing in?

There are too few people for the scale of operations. A kitchen of 3 staff for a mess-hall of a great galumphing ship? Why a kitchen of 3 staff wouldn't feed your mcdonalds customers.

They keep coming up with awesome ideas which makes me think that just before the start of the book things must have been at an abysmal low that people can use common sense (well, what passes for it in the book) so readily and get excellent results. In life if something is not working and you have an idea, you have to pretty much roll up your sleeves and dive grimly in to get something out of it. Any freebies are hallelujah material. The book is full of freebies, bah

I bought this book for the comparisons to heinlein. Space but the common man. I feel like I'm reading fanfic written by someone who has no experience of real markets, politics and trade. And there certainly isn't enough science fiction to make up for it

"It's more interesting," he said, "when humans delve inside themselves and say, 'Why am I doing this? And why is it relevant and important to be human?' " "It's more interesting," he said, "when humans delve inside themselves and say, 'Why am I doing this? And why is it relevant and important to be human?' "

Reading about the restoration of the monarchy (charles II and all that). Came across a hilarious reference: Chronicle of the late Intestine War

Now, I realise the word 'intestine' is used in the sense of internal or civil war but I laughed just the same.

To think, all this is just the start. Many many steps ahead. One never stops fighting, does one? I don't know... my ambitions thus far were only stored up till after B-school. Now I need to build them for the years ahead.

Where will I be 5 years from now? Ten?

Planning my mini garden in the balcony

Reread Nicholas Nickleby and feeling disappointed.

He is indeed a child of fortune in the latter half. Recuited into house of finance at tender ages, a prodigy of book keeping who supports his family, defeats his uncle, wins the love of a bee-yootiful young lady who has a secret fortune which is restored miraculously etc etc etc

mmph.. I wonder why I enjoyed it so much before. The only thing that I still founf excellent are the miscellaneous supporting characters. Dickens is always stellar for those and the Kenwigs and Crummles do not disappoint...

My brother in law asked me in jest how my mood was. Little does he know that I am in one of those frames of mind which the Bhattacharya sisters are famous for. taking a small mistake and hitting themselves for it, over and over and over and over again.

I know it was a tiny error but to hear the censure, however mild makes me go into a totally submissive state. Why did I do it? What will I do to prevent myself from doing it again? Again and again and again and again...

Am I glad I'm not in investment banking. I couldn't have the pressure. I love my work culture. If only I can manage to live up to the expectations and standard of work.

So, mood? Very very self recriminating

I went to check on snowy last night. She was sitting by the french window, one paw against the glass, gazing out raptly. I tiptoed away not wanting disturb her. I came back after an hour. She was still there.

My heart melted. There's something wonderful in a rabbit transfixed by the sight of a big wide beautiful world

Clever Obama to do a balanced feel-good speech for the Tucson shooting. A good political move. His advisors must be doing high-fives

I like my quiet minutes in the morning. Rabbits going nuts and me checking email and putting finishing touches on work. The rabbits are quite companionable this morning. Snowy licked my ankle and gave me a tiny nibble by way of hello. Miffy gnashing her teeth in a rabbit purr. It's a cloudy morning and it's a friday. What does that mean? I don't know. I still have to figure out plans.

Birds falling and dying everywhere. While it's not the apocalypse; these things happen and are only getting news coverage now. Yet there's something so soul achingly sad about it all. I need to get more environmentally friendly.

If anyone thinks that growing up and settling down is an easy thing, let them think again. I am tired by the endless burdens of responsibility placed upon me. I not only have to make sure that all my work tasks are thought out and executed, I have to pay loans, bills, do dry cleaning, laundry, supervise maids, do the groceries, clean, iron, feed and clean bunnies, make sure the house is stocked, dream up pretty things, shop for formals, accompany people to places when I would much rather be doing things on my own.

And anytime I want to just let be, I can't. There is a duty to override it. And there is always a duty. At least 16 hours a day. Usually when I sleep, the time is my own and my dreams are my own. But yesterday night I was working and running all night. I woke more exhausted almost.

Why can't I dance, read books, go have cocktails and dress up instead of being a babysitter, watch people slur, listen to loud annoying music. I don't have any of *my* music lined up in the system and I listen to it covertly on my laptop. Soon my personality will be a covert hidden thing, to come out at the full of moon.

I haven't danced in so long. I hate bad blues. I hate whisky. I love dogs, I love wakeboarding, I love the water, I love good food, silly movies. I am tired of being the one doing the looking after. I miss being looked after.

But this is in the end a silly rant. Childhood's end. Boo!

Edit: I was being whiny last night. Forgive me Bloggy

Edit no 2: I am perfectly happy!!!!!! I am allowed to be moody

I read slower and slower unwilling, being dragged to the conclusion of my book and Lincoln's life. I have to hold my angry tears back as I write

"Did you ever dream of some lost friend and feel that you were having a sweet communion with him and yet have a consciousness that it was not a reality? That is the way I dream of my lost boy, Willie"

-Lincoln

I dream of Brutus in the same way