Ronery

I am so ronery.

It's all a by product of sitting in my eyrie and watching the wind and rain blither about me all weekend, I'm sure. But it doesn't take it away from me, that I'm feeling ronery. Sar and I stayed up talking till late yesterday night. Then when I lay down to sleep, I couldn't sleep. A thousand things were on my mind, simple questions had such complicated answers that I wouldn't let them go half way, as much as I tried.

Example of things on me mind
1) Saranya's friend is being pressurised to marry. Her boyfriend isn't ready to commit yet. He's 25. He's being touted as scum for not consenting to even agree to marry in the future. But my sympathies were with him. And what is this undue importance on marriage. It does not complete one. The sooner our parents and elders realise this, the better (my parents excepted because they've been darling on the issue, bless them). But others. I can't help but take up the war cry. All those women and the stupid biological clock issue. As if there aren't enough children in this world.

2) I'm supposed to write on what is most important to me and why. This little thing has precipitated such a crisis in my life, you wouldn't believe. At every moment, I'm second guessing myself, watching myself slyly through half averted eyes, hoping to catch me give myself away as to what really is important. So I was really putting myself through the wringer, trying to combine brutal honesty with being succint

3)follow that flute. I have a longing to play on my flute. My hand has been sprained slightly for the last week, so I haven't been able to try. But last night, what with the weather, I just wanted to play odd warbling tunes on my silver sweetheart. I do love my flute. It deserves a lot better than me.

4)Timmy came to mind yesterday. These dogs of my life will leave me insane if I keep remembering and missing them. They were worth it during my times with them.

I was so tired and alone thinking away, I was afraid the sun would rise before I could sleep. As it so often happens, I was asleep and I don't know when it happened.