I'm lying in a room staring at my pictures again and again reliving my last few days. I can't remember when I was last so happy. I want every memory to live forever. I am in a fever and I cant have enough of it. Hungry, I am hungry. What's the use of a city and the few measly trees. When you've been surrounded by trees the height of a six or seven storey building. What use is a stream or a pond to me? I have seen the crocodile infested waters. I have smelt the clean air. I have sweated clean under the hot sun. I have walked in the dark damp undergrowth beneath enormous canopies.

Do you remember that moonlit night? The cold damp mist slowly rolling in over the lake. The clear sky and the silver moonlight. The water was so still. What am I doing here?

I swear to you diary. I am changed. I am changed. Its more than my current fever. As I grow older, the epochs grow more far spaced, but this is one. Fool that I am to think I was happy at the library or in bintan. That was a shadow of this. Like that day when we emerged from the hot sweating undergrowth to emerge on the high bank over the river to sunlight, cold breeze and that startling blue sky; like that, I am somewhere else now.