I feel emotionally shattered as I pack. I don't understand. I'm trembling as I fold my clothes. I want to curl up in a ball and stay on my sofa and watch the sun roll over the sky but I dont have the luxury of time. It's all moving too fast for me. Exams get over, I pack up my whole existence here almost, give my room over to a stranger, fly across the world and take up employment with a challenging company. I dont have time to say goodbyes and suddenly people seem dear to me. If I feel this way now how will I feel next year?

I know this will pass. I know I'll feel better when I see Singapore, when I see Rajesh and the others there but I can't imagine it now from this side of the fence. I know I will be happy rather than feel it. But the last time I felt this way, was when I was leaving Singapore. It was worse then of course, but it's the same kind of pain. And it's suddenly come upon me now. yesterday's moodiness has nothing to do with this kind of heartbreak. I'm too old to feel so intensely. Parting is NOT sweet sorrow.