long distance blues

I dislike long distance relationships. There is nothing good about them. It's more about the opportunity cost of staying together versus getting a step ahead in your career while you put your relationship on hold. because that's what it is. A relationship on hold. There is no hope of progress and all the two of you are working to do is to make sure that there isn't any back tracking.

And in the meanwhile it's the long lonely hours of waiting, all the negatives of being single and all the negatives of being attached rolled into one, guilt from smiling too much at someone, wondering if you're fading away and that there's noone to look at you and tell you that you're looking bright happy and pretty. What's the point, I mean. I might as well dress in rags, scowl and let myself go.

I should be happy, things are working out fine. Somehow, instead, I am beginning to understand what is important to me and that is to have someone to relate with and relate to, all the time. To have that someone whom you're thinking of with you.

And due to the unnatural state of things, I will moderate all my inclinations, think big picture and plow on with my good resolutions. I will be unhappy now to be happy later.