Peace

My mind is always troubled. Sometimes I achieve a moment of solitude but then the river picks up and send me eddying into whirlpools and rapids. I like it but I wonder if I'll burn out. If madness is waiting for me at the end. I don't mean 'I am napoleon' but dementia, senility or just virginia woolfness.

I am now wondering how I got here. Whether I am worth it. What I need to do to prove myself. How I can keep this going when I don't even know what I'm doing right. I feel like Rose the Nose, desperately seeking to find why this is happening and worried what on earth I am going to do when it stops.