I was talking to someone of my notions of happiness. They consist of the following. Emotional support and presence of those whom I love: My parents, my sister, and of course Rajesh (and Brutus my love though you're not here). Personal achievements and progression. Money enough not to want in necessities or ability to invest in oneself for growth. I was speaking with a little enthusiasm of what I hoped for the future. He brushed aside every part of my happiness that was linked with material wealth and ambition. To him it wasn't important and he said that the personal things were all that made him happy. I felt I was being judged and said so. he denied it but I continued to feel it.
And because I can't take it lightly. Happiness is a big big thing. It wasn't a serious challenge to my thoughts but who am I to not question myself. Oh and I did. I spent so much time thinking about it. I did more. I read psychiatry papers on how people report happiness and economics of utility and happiness. I must be a nerd even when I soul search. After all when did I become an authority even on myself. I am fairly the same as everybody else I'm sure.
And after all this thinking I'm decided. It is a crime to hide away all ones enthusiasms for the sake of traditional happinesses. I will not deny that family and friends give a lot of satisfaction but I cannot deny the satisfaction that achievement gives. So ambition is once again allowed in the pantheon. And I am not sitting biting my nails second guessing myself feeling like half of myself
