Endings

I hate sad endings. No wonder fairy tales and kiddy stuff serves up happy ends by the platter. But after a while, I rebel of happy endings too. How could it be happy? How could it be resolved. No Sirree, I want my happy endings realistic, and if you can't make it realistic, you give me the sad stuff anyway. I'll deal with it.

It's unfair and voyeuristic, I was telling him, that I should casually pick up a book and read a man's life from end to end from hope to death, to the unhappy conclusion. I should read it page a day, growing old with them. Its heart rending for me to sit here in my twenties and read of their lonely ends.

Why can't they be happy? What did they do? Why did they do it? Why won't you be happy? Please?

There are no rewards for good deeds, no justice, everything is by chance and I'm sad. A hole in my heart, ache in my soul, numb in my self, hurt in my hope sad. Which is an okay kind of sad. It feels like growing pains. Fancy that, I thought I was quite old already.